What if all women were bigger and stronger than you And thought they were smarter What if women were the ones who started wars What if too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly What if the state trooper who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs What if your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis What if every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands What if women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch In a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks tucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence” What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey” What if You had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job What if You couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them.
i was crying so hard over doctor who that the police came and they could hear me OVER the traffic I WOKE UP MEMBERS OF THE BOARD the WHOLE FUCKING BLOCK I HAD 7 POLICE OFFICERS IN MY ROOM AND I HAVE TO HELP PEOPLE AND GOD?????¿¿¿¿ im in so much trouble
Sooo…. it’s finally happening. Tomorrow morning 7.21am I’ll set off on my interrail journey through Europe. I’ll start in Brugge then Amsterdam, Hamburg and then THEN I’ll visit Conny. OMFG I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS! *cough* anyway… this also means that I won’t be posting a lot during the next month (except for occasional updates on my whereabouts probably). I have installed a queue so if you’re willing to content yourself with that I’d be delighted. If not, then I guess that means goodbye. And I suppose… if it’s my last chance to say it… my followers…
Oh God, darling, I’m so excited! This is so big and scary and cool!
It really upsets me when people make comments about random people like you’re watching TV and someone says ‘Wow, that woman in that ad has a really weird face! Nothing fits together!’ and I snap back ‘It’s her face, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it just because it doesn’t look like you’d like it to look!’
Because I imagine how I’d feel, being told there is something wrong with my face by random strangers.
i’m reblogging this because the sherlock fandom is terrifying and I’m scared that if I don’t reblog this one day I’m just going to be killed in my sleep when they rid the world of all non-believers or something and that’s what they meant by “everything will be explained later”
Took my little sister toy shopping today. After much browsing, she chose a pack of Hot Wheels cars. She wanted to pay so I gave her the money. As we were waiting in line, some dude waiting behind us asks:
“Buying those for your brother?”
My sister gives him a weird look, “No. They’re mine.”
“You sure you want those, sweetheart? Those are for boys.” He says.
Before I can say anything, my sister yells, like truly yells at the top of her lungs, “MY MOMMY IS A GIRL AND DRIVES A CAR EVERY DAY! GIRLS CAN HAVE CARS TOO!”
The people in front of us in line turn around. The cashier actually stops what she’s doing. Everyone stares at this guy and he just sort of turns red, grabs his kid, and disappears into the Lego aisle.